The Official ryanarcade FAQ
In this we will simply type out some of the frequently asked questions that we get here at ryanarcade
“Ryan you are like a god, what would be the best way for me to worship you as you deserve- and at the same time avoid Bob and his snappy hair cut?”
Here’s on that we get ALL the time.
I’ll first answer the Bob part, he is a terrible parasite and you will never rid of him until he drains your entire being away from you. Now the worshipping part, you’ll probably want to start by sending me 50 dollars. With that money I will send you a pamplet on how to worship me better, and like save you soul and stuff.
“Ryan I know you’re not gay, but what about Bob? He just makes me nervous.”
Me too. Sexual orientation: always a hard subject, especially around Bob. Now I’m not gay, that’s established, but Bob well he’s confusing. He has a girlfriend. Or so he says. His crazy gay hair and girating pelvis plead a different story. Ill keep you posted on his gay activity.
“Your spelling is terrible, why dont you jsut use the spell checker?”
Another good question, which I took time to address on the home page. Why should I change how something is spelled or Swiss miss spelled? Maybe right now we’re using someone’s misspelling when they interpreted the language or somewhere along the way. So QUIT RIDING ME.
“Sometimes I cry when I think about you, can I buy a t-shirt with you or the website’s name on it and also a snappy image perchance?”
Funny you should mention that. I have been throwing around some ideas for a t-shirt but I dont know how to make them yet. Give me time, all I need is time.
“Ryan your so large and powerful why is it that bob is still able to steal the air we could be breathing?”
Well he’s like a retarded child, at first you want to give him away or lose him in a busy shopping store, but after awhile he grows on you and all the things that you loath about him you only despise him more each day. You then realize that by letting him live you are punishing him enough for your own personaly torment brought on by your association with him.
-I hope that cleared it up, it’s not that I cant kill him.
“You always talk about killing people, do you have anger management issues and/or are videogames to blame?”
No. Yes, and don’t question me. Ever.
“Bob how do you always look so cool, even when it’s very warm out?”
I’ll take that (Ryan). It’s because he is the devil, and he’s used to it being hot outside, very hot. And dirty, but that unrelated. So that should clear that one up, His lover is the dark prince and he leads a terrible dirty life.
“Ryan why are you always ripping on bob? He seems neither dirty nor evil.”
I didn’t know Bob or his mother could use E-mail. TO five you an answer though, it’s because he deserves every little bit of it. You can see the comic I wrote here to clear that up.
“Why is it that Bob doesn’t have a voice in any of these answers?”
It’s because he is in German class right now, and I am in Journalism. And we haven’t mastered telekinesis…yet.
Or did I….muhhahahaha! I’m just waiting for Ryan to make on more loathsome comment so I can legally murder him.
And now you know why else he isnt aloud to write anything on here.
“Who does the drawing/writing for the comics?”
Since Bob is a no talent hack with little more than smack and dirty truck stops in his future both titles go to Ryan. Bob does write most of the reviews though, I’ll give him that.
“I am an incredibly attractive girl and would like to know when the ryanarcade photoshoot will be open to public?”
I see that the ryanarcade fanclub has some inside information, and yes there is a photoshoot scheduled but it hasn’t been done yet. As soon as we get the pictures taken and everything is up and running they will be yours, all yours my love.
“I have seen penny arcade and there seems to be a striking resemblence…”
-then they just went on about a couple other things I dont care about
Haha yeah (nervous laughter), about that I have switched the thme to The Mars Chronicles, SO STOP RIDING ME. Also the name ryanarcade is just too catchy to give it up.
“What’s your favorite kind of cheese?”
Ryan- Any kind in a can
Bob- Anythign that doesnt reek like Ryan
“Ryan what’s your obsession with the phrase ‘Quit riding me?’ Bob says from your stories that you enjoy those burly male riders?”
(Bob) I’ll field this one, Ryan is feeling sudden remorrse for all the leather chap wearing “visitors.” He has a sudden urge to yell or type the phrase.
“Ryan, you call your place, “Ryan Arcade,” but I don’t see any gaming machines! Why?”
The answer is simple, your not looking in the right place
“Where is the change machine?”
It changes.
“I have 378 tickets from Chuckie Cheese’s, Can I use them here?”
Yes actually, that’s just enough for five minutes, anything goes, in a wood shed with Bob.
“I like skee-ball, but I don’t see it here. Why?”
I dont know, but it’s been eating at me like the terrible sexual transmitted diseases inside Bob.
“How many tickets for the bouncy ball?”
You’ll have to talk to Bob about anything concerning balls for sale, his AOL nickname is LongDongSilver69.
Anything not cleared up yet? Send an e-mail to:
quakefileplanet@hotmail.com -Ryan
and115@hotmail.com -Bob
Please make the subject read something about ryanarcade, so I know it’s not junk mail.
